week 3 blog 2

Did the stranger part 2 today.  Really interesting discussions. One thing that got me was the idea that Meursault wasn't actually emotionless, and that he just decided to bottle up his emotion.  This was an interesting idea, because it changes the whole story.  It goes from a tale about an emotionless man to one fighting emotions.  This internal battle would be an extremely painful and difficult one.  As a person who tends to bottle up a lot of emotions I can understand the struggle, but I can only imagine the intense struggle that Meursault would have felt.  He seemed to have a changed a little while in prison too.  Like it was somehow easier to express emotion after he gets put in prison.  I can imagine that it would have felt good to release a lot of that built up emotional tension, but with person such as Meursault, one can’t truly tell.  I also found the idea of the world being indifferent towards him a little mind bending.  To think that we don’t matter except to ourselves is a very heavy thought.  Because we all think we matter, even if just a little bit.  The idea is kind of hard to swallow, yet upon really thinking about it, it doesn't seem like we would matter in the grand scheme of things.  I mean there are millions upon billions upon trillions of stars.  And each one likely has planets.  And there it’s highly likely that there are others out there. Who’s to say we are more important than them?  Why do we matter more than them? It makes me think about all of humanities religions, and how crazy they would seem to other sentient beings out there.  It makes me think that none of the religious beliefs people have mean anything. Like nothing at all means anything.  whoa

week 3 blog1

Today we went over part one of Camus’ The Stranger.  Meursault is a very interesting person.  Seems to lack a lot emotion.  He comes off as detached from the real world and lives in his own reality.  It makes me wonder how a person can do that.  To not care about the future or the past just the present.  To be free of emotion where others find it mandatory.  His own mother’s death doesn't even seem to faze him.  It makes me wonder if he was always like that.  Maybe the loss of his mother caused him to go into this state of shock where his emotions, and feelings and cares just, vanished.  Losing someone can be a traumatic experience, and everyone handles it differently.  Some develop depression, others turn to drink.  Maybe this state of detachment is his coping method.  But then again maybe he’s always been that way.  I feel as if life would be very depressing if you had an outlook such as Meursault’s.  No emotional attachment to anyone or anything.  Everyone and everything just being objects that don’t mean anything.  Seems kind of nihilistic.  Believing in nothing.  Thinking you have no responsibility for your actions.  You’re born, you live, you die and nothing more.  Meursault doesn't come off as a good person.  He seems selfish and irrational, maybe even a bit psychopathic. Blaming the heat for shooting the Arab.  A normal, sane, rational person doesn’t shoot someone because it’s hot.  The first shot may have been somewhat of a self-defense move, but the rest of the shots?   Only a person with psychopathic tendencies would do that.  But maybe he actually felt emotion when pulled the trigger.  The man did stab his friend.  Maybe he feels emotion he just can’t display it.  His mind could be rejecting emotion so much that it processes the intense emotion only through the physiological changes, like the heat.  

week 1 monday

First day of class left me very intrigued with the subject.  There’s something about existentialism that just seems so mysterious and far off. It comes off as a very foreign concept, yet it seems so familiar at the same time. If that makes any sense. Anyway, I am really looking forward to this class. I like the idea of students being the teachers.  It excites me and makes me feel like this is going to be a semester. It makes me feel like I'm going to be important, and not just a student who is there to receive a grade and move on.  This is my first philosophy class so I’m a bit nervous but I think I’m up to the challenge.  Although I am also a little worried about what I might find out about myself.  Right now I feel like I don't have a super clear idea of who I really am, or if there is even any purpose to my existence.   Maybe by the end of the class I'll know, or at least think I know.  Maybe I’ll just end up with even more doubt about who I am and if there is a reason for my existence.  Maybe I’ll never know.  Maybe that’s what existentialism is really about.  Trying to make sense of things that are truly impossible to make sense of.  Seems kind of crazy yet it makes some sense.  And maybe it tries to answer the question of why we exist, the never ending debate between essence and existence.  Maybe we don’t have a reason to exist, we just do.   Hell for all I know this could just be my imagination, maybe I don’t exist at all.  But then again, who cares. I’ll just keep on existing whether there’s a reason to or not.